viva voce

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I've got my PhD viva tomorrow. I'm going through my thesis and feel really sorry for the examiners because I can't write concisely or clearly for toffee. Regular visitors to punkscience will be aware of this and I apologise for it. Its just not something I've ever really aspired to and it really shows in my work. That's not to say I'm not a good scientist. I am. I'm fucking awesome! I can communicate my work very eloquently and clearly- just not in the formal written style that all science is documented in.

This is a problem I need to address because being a good scientist these days is simply not going to get you a job. You have to be a self-publicist and prolifically so in all sorts of media- not just peer-reviewed journals. I don't approve of this. There are so many examples of boundaries being smashed apart as a result of people ignoring this paradigm and concentrating on research instead of wanking their egos that I can't begin to motivate myself to 'play the game.'

Anyway, instead of wasting time writing badly here I'm going to go back to pondering the bad writing in my thesis. I will leave you with some relevant ponderings from Dr Jim. Who is awesome.

it always amuses me how "thesis" sounds so similar to "faeces"

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Here it is, kids. The whole chibang:

PhD blues

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I intend to complete my lab work by Wednesday. I'm not going to make it, especially as I am going out for pre-emptive celebratory beer on Monday with NMR girl. Anyhoo, I am spending 20 hours a day in the lab and will be spending ~16 hours a day writing up for the next 4-5 months so don't expect lengthy, lucid prose from me. Not that you do, but I reckon I occasionally put a few good words together. Like 'cock' and 'weasel'. Or 'goat and 'fnarr'.

Word.

PhD blues

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I am reaching the end of my PhD and will run out of money in ~3 months time. If I work my arse of for those three months I should end up with almost all of the data that I set out to collect at the start of my PhD. This is not a little impressive, I should point out. As I have been living in Plymouth and working in ~~~~~~ I have been losing three hours a day travelling. To remedy this unproductive situation I decided to buy myself a van, build a bed in the back and sleep up at ~~~~~~ during the week to give myself some highly concentrated and much needed work time Punkwiff is wholly supportive as she's fed up of me being grumpy when I crawl in at 2200, only to have to get up the next day and head back up country.


The upshot of this narrative is that I have the considerable luxury of a whole 16 hours or so of working time available to me. Being human I tend to spend at least a couple of those hours cocking around in t'interweb, which is good news for you lucky blog fiends out there as I get to share more of my fascinating life with you.

Anyhoo, I have spent the last few days quantifying lipid, sugars and protein in polychaete oocytes and preparing my talk for the SEB Annual Conference in Marseille. Consequently, I have some nice data and am going to share it with the world.

I rule.