Friday, August 08, 2008

100 greatest quotes from Christian whackjob chatrooms


This is unashamedly lifted from Larry Teabag. But its so funny I don't care and I bet he doesn't either.
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.


This one's even better:

[on the sunject of a Bible printing company]

Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).
The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.
It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.

This one's the best, though

[Am I in discussion with a human who has a functioning brain?]

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?


  1. But I've got an even bigger side-splitter from a scientific site:

    "Yes, electricity from kites.

    The commentator mentions that its impossible to build a turbine to take advantage of the jet stream winds, which offer 4 times more power than that available to conventional turbines. I don't see why a kite couldn't be used to lift a turbine into the sky for this purpose. Definitely more of a technical challenge but what isn't, these days?"

    Cracks you up, doesn't it?

  2. Ignorant and offensive. What else would I expect from you, David?

    "the best way of losing a cause is to abuse your opponent"
    -- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

  3. This past spring I was expelled from my high school. Why? Because I'm a Christian. There was a girl in my class who was wiccan, and I didn't want demons to possess me or anyone else and save her from satan. So, I told her that her faith was evil and told her to accept Jesus as Savior and she would be saved. Simple as that. Just say the sinners prayer and you can be saved!

    Well I got sent to the principal for that. She said I was 'discriminating' against her religion. I was only doing what the Bible, God, Jesus and my pastor said! How is that wrong!?

    Well, afterwards I was forced to aplologize, even though it's a sin to, so I never meant what I said. So, instead I put a copy of a Jack Chick tract in her locker about how wicca and a paganism lead to murder, rape and other horrible things because it lets the devil get inside of you. I also left a little note about how she was going to hell. I was hoping she would see the error of her ways and repent from the evil, disgusting 'religion'.

    Instead I was called down to the principal again and this time there were two police officers there. And they said I was under arrest for harrasing this girl and threatening her! What did I do? I just wanted her to accept Jesus and be saved! Now her family (all evil, stupid, disgusting god hating wiccans) want to sue me for discrimination and creating a hostile workplace! How is that fair? She's the one who's discriminating against me because I'm one with the LORD!

    Jesus is the only way to salvation! It's that simple people! No pope, wicca, or anything stupid like that! JESUS ONLY! Why is is wrong to tell others that? It's all the fault of the ACLU and simlar atheist organizations trying to destroy us Christians. Next they'll want to genocide us for doing our Godly work.

  4. You bet correct.

    (And Duff, there's no contradiction between laughing at Christian idiots and laughing at other idiots too...)

  5. "Ignorant and offensive. What else would I expect from you, David?
    "the best way of losing a cause is to abuse your opponent"
    -- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi"

    Oh, I'm very sorry, you mean this sort of thing:

    "We've been through this before you fucking retard."

    "I refer to this passage in the comments by the twat himself"

    "Definitely a rather nasty piece of work."

    "you are a dirty little racist"

    "So fuck you, racist scum"

    Yeeees, I see what you mean!

  6. Oh, I'm very sorry, you mean this sort of thing:

    Well, sort of. But only one of those examples is abusive in tone- calling you a twat. The others are purely factual. You’re comprehension of English is clearly retarded if you consider my blog to be a piece of scientific writing- I had already pointed this out to you once before prior to making that observation. And you are “definitely a rather nasty piece of work”, “a dirty racist” and “racist scum”, as I carefully elucidated in our first exchange.

    When we compare these evidence-based assertions with your implication that my post on a new renewable generation technology, linking to an article in one of the World’s premier popular science magazines, is “a side-splitter” and “cracks you up” we can see that your arguments aren’t really based upon evidence or objective reasoning. In fact your comments seem intended purely to ridicule and offend in an ad hominem fashion.

    Lets move onto your personal attacks on my blog now, shall we? I have no problem whatsoever with your referring to me as “Little Willy”. In fact I find it highly amusing that you consider that you can discomfort me by drawing attention to something with which I am clearly comfortable enough to publically proclaim. Calling me a “chump” doesn’t really smack of high-browed analysis either.

    Really, I only tolerate your rabid frothing here because I have the unpleasant feeling that if I simply deleted your comments and ignored you you would continue to write about it on your own blog as if you had achieved some sort of victory. I feel that it is detrimental to society to leave such assertions unchallenged and therefore, by engaging with you on this level, I am working to raise the fog of bigotry and ignorance within which you dwell.


Feel free to share your opinions of my opinions. Oh- and cocking fuckmouse.